There are so many ways to lose the ones we love. The ways of loss are varied and common to us all. We can lose them through death, a romantic break-up, divorce, emotional distance, sickness, addiction, careers, physical distance, dementia or Alzheimer, peer pressure, youth, the hands of crime, adulthood, misunderstandings, mistakes, and on and on and on. The hardest part of loss is wanting the person back and missing them to the point of unbearable heartache and pain. There are no words that can actually tell a person how to walk through loss. There are no clever steps or wisdom or psychological guarantees of how to overcome such an experience.
When I lost my father, I knew for certain life had changed and it would never be the same. Suddenly my world that was once so familiar became a strange place to live. It was indeed frightening. I learned I could not stop the wind from going where it wished and I could stop lost from its visit to my heart. I miss my father every single day. It doesn’t hurt as much as in the earlier days, but the missing lingers. I don’t mind the missing; it reminds me how deeply I carried him in my heart.
Holidays are particularly hard on those who have lost love ones and I pray that they find some soothing means of comfort that helps the heart. Loss is never, ever a pleasant garden to tend, but the flowers that bloom, if we allow, - from this experience - will fragrance our lives forever. My love one made a difference and not at all as I imagined. But what stays with me every day – what makes me smile – what gives me peace - what warms my heart is that while they were here: we loved.